Save Me Now

If I can't get to where I'm going, where do I go?
If people can't see me and don't know who I am, where do I go?
If I am alone, who will be with me?

Just stop and Listen...

What it means to be single...

If there wasn't anymore ways to categorize and compartmentalize single women. I recently read an article from marieclaire.com titled The 12 Categories of Single Women The article based on a book Seeking Happily Ever After: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Being Single Without Losing Your Mind (and Finding Lasting Love Along the Way) by Michelle Cove.

I almost gagged upon reading the title but realized there was some scientific analysis involved, which made it slightly tolerable. The article sums up the book by pin pointing 12 categories Cove found during her extensive research. (View the 12 categories here) After examining these details and doing my assessment of myself in comparison to these categories, I began to realize, how much time do I spend trying to adjust and classify my own relationships to fit these best selling novelists theories?

Society has already seen and swooned over Sex in the city, and other movies and books like the ever engaging Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus. Movies and books that are translatable to the ordinary general population makes for an instant cash cow. I think we (women especially) are all trying to find sympathy for our misfortunes and downfalls. Being able to read about someone going through the same trials and tribulations makes for a great audience. It can make us feel like we aren't alone, that there is a Carrie Bradshaw in all of us. If Carrie can marry Mr Big in the happily ever after ending, then so can I. But how jaded is that idea for any independent, strong, intelligent women of the 21st century to resort to?!?

Don't get me wrong... I'm not against the "happily ever after" ending. And I'm not against books or movies that promote "happily ever after" endings or even the cynical and opposing views. But I am trying discover a happy middle road or at least some peace of mind.

My Life as a Revolving Door

If revolving doors were meant to ease foot traffic in a highly populated building, them my life would resemble one.

Imagine that your life is this is 7 story high rise each floor representing each phase of your life: 1st floor is childhood then 5th floor would be your first time getting to third base. Hence, the doorway to your life would be the magnificent, yet not so climatic, revolving door. Its the doorway or gateway, in which people, such as friends, boyfriends, lovers, come walking out as fast as they came walking in.

I guess I am using a revolving door to symbolize the part of my life that seems progressively unstable and open for much pain. Currently my revolving door, doesn't have a doorman to filter out the riffraff.

For me, the eternal optimist, I can't help but be curious about every person I meet. Its like in elementary school; to me everyone starts at with an A, and every time you make a mistake or offend me that person gets deducted a letter grade. In all fairness, it theoretically seems to work, but if your are trying to screen and filter consistent offenders it might not be a good tactic.

Is that theory completely wrong??

Analyzing Relationships Part 2 - "Must have's" that my ideal soulmate would have.

I started writing part 2 almost one year ago, 9/2009. I've been doing some serious soul searching since then. And in true analytical virgo fashion, my own self analysis of my dating processes has come alive. I started analyzing relationships just to help me figure out what I'm doing wrong. Now I think it time to turn the other cheek and see if from a different light.

A Before and After Analysis

BEFORE

A good friend told me "you gotta put yourself OUT there", for people to see.

Ok so what does that really mean?

I mean my usual plan: Happy Hour! Notorious as the social mecca for business men and women. A gap of time where its financially cheap and cost effective for drink binging...Happy hour! I found that that span of time was more trouble then it seemed. I had a Happy hour plan. I sat there smiled a whole bunch. Drink a fancy martini, or try the bar's fancy concoctions and wait for unassuming prey. Whether it was the bartender or the next guy that walks in, they had to be somewhat good looking. Now isn't that a great plan for "putting yourself out there"?

One things for sure I haven't been successful in finding anyone.

All traditional tactics have gone out the door. So it true, perhaps the one person "right" for me might be under my nose?

AFTER

Understanding my "must haves" List:

Must haves- chemistry, communicator, sense of humor, strong character, patience, conflict resolver, affectionate, intellect, self confident, adaptability, kindness, tolerant, loyal attractive.

Values- family life, autonomy, shared interests, sociability, staying in, spiritual acceptance, responsible, sexually passionate.


Ok, so i REALLY like making lists. I guess it helps me compartamentalize what I want, and I put a tangible list to what only imagination can make up. But I am soon realizing that I can't make lists in regards to love.

Why can't there be a build-a-bear for men?

Dating! Oh the complicated online web we weave...

As the first month of 2010 whizzed right past me. And I've learned this so far:

*cut out fake relationship
via CNN Its a MUST read..

*when walking with someone, its OK to walk around the pole in order to NOT break the bond. Who says superstitions are phony?!!

*Go with the gut. It works!

*"He's just not that into you", really DOES mean he's just NOT that into you...