The Many Things I am Thankful for....

This past Christmas has been not about material things and not about how many people attend your parties. For the first time in a long time, I truly understand the meaning of the word "thankful". I will admit I placed alot of monetary value on presents, what people bought me and how much they cost. I tried to match the cost of gifts based on what I bought before. I also felt that the number of parties to attend were important because it meant more white elephant gifts. But after all that I have been through it all seems so useless and unecessary. It takes the rough, dreadful situations to make you see that money can't buy you everything.

I've become very thankful for friends and family.

Relationships...Where is prince charming?

So I've commented before about unavailable available men. I have yet to understand where I stand. Perhaps the hardest to overcome is fear. Uncertainty is and will be a battle for me. If only I can have a crystal ball in my purse so that I can call upon the gypsy spirits to let me know what will happen next.

I'm not looking for anything serious....

Why is that line the kiss of death...? At 26 you'd think that would be okay to hear. I mean serious at this day and age means commitment and god forbid that happen now at your prime.

I guess I must confess that I long for affection and love. Hopelessly looking for the longing stares, and soft kisses. I could get lost in romance. Perhaps my one secert I like to keep hidden. Its just easier that way. It scares most men. I long for intimate attenttion, love that lasts forever. All that poetry that only Shakespeare captures.

And for some reason, this is hard to find. Its fear that drives us away and apart. Fear that if we let ourselves in the loving, scared place that pain and disappointment will follow. I can't blame them.

Where is prince charming....?